Maintaining boundaries is essential in interactions; neglecting them often leads to uncomfortable situations that everyone wants to avoid.
OP (33f) has a 13-year-old son named Nas, whom she’s raised alone since he was two. She started dating her husband Zach (33m) when Nas was 9, and they married last year. OP lets Nas express himself freely. He loves pink, so she let him dye his hair, make jewelry, and paint his nails. OP’s MIL, staying with them while her HVAC is fixed, disapproves of this. On Friday, Nas came home with eyeliner done by a friend. MIL demanded he wash it off, and he refused. When Zach got home, MIL was still lecturing him. Nas snapped, saying, “I get that you’re mad that a boy is prettier than you, but I’m tired of hearing about it. Zach wanted Nas to apologize, but OP said MIL should apologize too for bothering him. MIL refused, so OP didn’t make Nas apologize either. Zach thinks Nas was disrespectful, but OP believes he was justified. The only lesson OP sees is not to share eyeliner due to germs.
1. OP refuses to make her son apologize to MIL for what she views as justified behavior, despite husband’s disagreement over perceived disrespect.
2. OP (33f) has a 13yo son, Nas. She raised him alone since he was 2. She started dating her husband Zach (33m) when Nas was 9.
3. OP encourages her son to express himself, allowing him to dye his hair pink, make jewelry, and paint his nails, which makes him very happy.
4. OP’s MIL, staying due to HVAC issues, often criticizes OP for having a child young and expecting her husband to treat OP as an equal partner.
5. MIL thinks OP’s refusal to follow traditional gender roles affects her son negatively. Both OP and her husband have asked MIL to stop criticizing him.
6. On Friday, Nas came home with eyeliner done by a friend. MIL told him to wash it off, but he refused, saying he liked it.
7. When Zach got home, MIL was still lecturing Nas. Nas snapped, saying, “You’re mad a boy is prettier than you.” Zach asked Nas to apologize; he refused.
8. When OP arrived, MIL and Zach recounted the incident. OP insisted Nas wouldn’t apologize unless MIL did too. MIL refused, so OP didn’t force Nas to apologize.
9. OP insists on teaching her son not to share eyeliner due to hygiene concerns. Despite Zach’s view that Nas was disrespectful, OP feels his reaction was justified.
10. OP insists on teaching her son not to share eyeliner due to hygiene concerns. Despite Zach’s view that Nas was disrespectful, OP feels his reaction was justified.
Now that you have read the story, it’s time for you to see what Redditors had to say about this. Read till the end to see what are other people’s opinions on this. Don’t forget to share your own opinion at the end of this article.
11. Supporting a child’s self-expression is crucial. OP is doing the right thing by standing up for her son.
12. OP’s son has the right to express himself freely.
13. MIL should respect his choices and stop criticizing.
14. MIL’s expectations are unreasonable. OP is right to prioritize her son’s well-being and autonomy.
15. OP’s stance on her son’s self-expression is commendable.
16. OP’s son shouldn’t have to apologize for expressing himself.
17. MIL should focus on understanding and supporting him.
18. OP’s son should be allowed to explore and express himself freely.
19. MIL’s comments about gender roles are outdated. OP is doing a great job letting her son be himself.
20. Teaching respect includes respecting a child’s choices.
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