It is normal for kids to hold grudges against the person responsible for their parent’s breakup, and they will never be able to go on and form a fresh connection if the person becomes their new family member. They will carry resentment for the rest of their lives since they will always feel that they were the reason their family broke apart.
OP had a similar experience when her sons refused to acknowledge their father’s girlfriend as their mother after learning that she was the reason for their parents’ breakup. OP had two sons, ages ten and twelve, with her ex. Her ex and Emily made things formal after their breakup, but her sons disliked her. Her behavior toward OP became very nasty after she discovered that OP’s ex’s family praised OP more than her. She used harsh language while coming to take the boys to meet their father, and OP’s ex was penalized for utilizing her while dealing with custody issues instead of himself. Emily wanted to take pictures with the boys on their award night as their mother for the school newsletter, but they declined by saying that she was not their mother. Their father chastised them and blamed OP for training them to disrespect elders. Read the complete story to learn the OP’s reply, and then share your thoughts in the comments section below.
Source: Reddit
1. OP asks if she was an a-hole for not correcting her kids when they refused to accept their father’s wife as their mother.
2. OP was the mother of two sons, ages 10 and 12, with her ex. They broke up because of Emily, who worked with him for years and wanted to take OP’s place in his life.
3. After their separation, Emily and her ex made things official. Emily got super hostile after learning that OP’s ex’s family liked OP more than her.
4. OP had to deal with her animosity whenever she came to take the boys to meet their father, given that he wasn’t allowed to use her for custody issues. The judge warned and subsequently fined him for violating the orders.
5. Emily was unable to have her own kids and wanted that OP’s sons considered her as a mother. OP refused to help her because of her past behavior.
6. OP’s sons refused Emily to take pictures with them for the school newsletter, as she was not their real mother. Their father scolded them and criticized OP for teaching them to disrespect women.
Now that you’ve heard the story, let’s dive into what Redditors had to say. Keep reading to discover other people’s perspectives on the matter.
7. Redditor wonders if OP complains about their behavior to the court, then they might modify the custody in OP’s favor.
8. OP couldn’t report their behavior because the court worked on solid evidence not feelings and emotions.
9. Redditor wants to know the age limit when kids can decide whether they want to meet their dad or not.
10. OP explains that in her area, 16 is the age when a kid can choose whether to go see the other parent or not.
11. Yes, Judges give serious consideration to children’s choices if they are of age above 10.
12. Redditor’s son told the judge his unwillingness to see his dad at the age of 12 and the judge instructed his father to never contact him.
13. Redditor believes that the court will listen to the kids choice, no matter how young they are. OP just needs some documentation attested by the therapist.
14. Redditor suggests allowing children to speak with the judge in the hopes that their feelings will be considered.
15. OP explained that judges refused to speak with her kids about their choices as it wasn’t allowed in custody disputes.
16. Yes, children cannot choose to stay with one parent at an early age unless there is clear evidence of any parent’s misbehavior.
17. Redditor has a valid point.
18. Redditor believes that if a child reports wrongdoing by their stepparent, most judges will consider their perspective.
19. Yes, children shouldn’t get scolded for being honest.
20. Redditor advises OP to put the kids into therapy and try to use the therapist report in court to get an order to not include his girlfriend in the custody visitation.
OP received strong support from her children, who disliked their father’s girlfriend due to her harsh demeanor. She also received support from her ex’s family, who believed OP was a better mother than Emily. OP can enroll her boys in therapy, as children require proper care when dealing with such problems at such an early age. If her children do not want to spend time with their father and his girlfriend in the future, OP can utilize a therapist report as evidence in court. OP had to wait several years before her boys were given the option of going to their father’s house or not, but the therapist should assist her in convincing the court of what OP’s sons desired.What is your opinion of the OP’s situation? Please leave your ideas in the comments below, and stay tuned to Wholesomeness for more stories.
