Se*ism in the workplace can lead to uncomfortable and unfair situations, creating unnecessary drama and tension. Navigating these issues often involves dealing with inappropriate comments or demands. Such challenges can turn everyday interactions into complex workplace dramas.
OP works in tech consulting and is the only woman on the team. Her boss told her she was coming off “harsh” with clients and should smile more. OP felt uncomfortable and texted her coworkers (without management) to ask if any of them had been told to smile more or called harsh. They all said no and pointed out the double standard. To make a point, OP started smiling exaggeratedly around her boss, but not clients. Her boss eventually noticed and asked about it, but her coworkers backed her up, saying it was just her smile. Boss was not much happy with it, scroll down to know the full story.
1. OP asks if it was wrong that they gave a silly, exaggerated smile in meetings after the boss said they should smile more.
2. OP works in tech consulting as the only woman on the team. The boss said OP seemed “harsh” with clients and should smile more.
3. OP immediately texted the coworkers’ group chat (excluding management) asking if BossMan ever told any of them to smile more.
4. The coworkers immediately said no and pointed out the double standard. They joked that current clients don’t give them anything to smile about.
5. OP asked if anyone had been called harsh, and they all said no. A coworker sent a silly photo saying, “Well, what BossMan says, he gets.”
6. OP found it hilarious and started smiling exaggeratedly around the boss, with a tense mouth, gums on display, and a double chin.
7. OP only did the silly smile around the boss and coworkers, not clients. The boss asked about it, and a coworker said, “What, she was just smiling?”
8. The boss said it looked like OP was pulling a face. Coworkers showed happy hour photos, insisting, “That’s literally her smile,” and backed OP up.
9. OP explained their relaxed smile when genuinely amused versus their polite smile. OP tried to be polite after being told they came off “harsh.”
10. At the next one-on-one, the boss said OP’s changed demeanor seemed disingenuous. OP replied, “I’ve never been good at being super peppy without it looking fake.”
11. That seemed to be the end of it. The office now jokes that OP looks like Nigel Thornberry, which OP finds to be a pretty smashing nickname.
12. OP feels guilty for indirectly addressing the boss’s comments with a joke rather than directly pointing out the sexist undertone.
During a one-on-one meeting, OP’s boss said she didn’t need to change her demeanor that much, as it seemed disingenuous. OP admitted she struggled with being peppy without looking fake. The incident ended with her getting a nickname, but OP feels bad for not addressing the boss’s s*xist comment directly and involving her coworkers in the joke. She wonders if she was wrong for the fake smile tactic and turns towards the Reddit community to ask for advice.
Now that you have read the story, it’s time for you to see what Redditors had to say about the story. Don’t forget to share your own opinion at the end of this article.
13. Boss shouldn’t have made such a gendered comment in the first place.
14. Your reaction was a clever way to highlight the double standard.
15. You used humor to address an unfair situation. Boss needed to understand the issue.
16. Boss’s comment was inappropriate and you handled it in a creative way.
17. It’s important to stand up against unfair treatment, and you did so with style.
18. OP made a point about the se*ism in a way that got results.
19. NTA. If the boss can’t see how wrong his comment was, maybe this will help.
20. OP’s boss should be more aware of how their comments affect others.
OP’s response to the boss’s se*ist comment, though unconventional, highlights the need to address unfair treatment creatively when direct methods fail. The situation underscores that sexist behavior can create uncomfortable dynamics at work, and sometimes indirect approaches are necessary to make a point. The moral is that addressing inappropriate comments, even with humor, can be a valid strategy for workplace fairness.
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