Sometimes, family dynamics can lead to difficult situations where boundaries and fairness are tested. When one family member feels taken advantage of, it can create tension and lead to tough decisions about support and responsibility. Balancing kindness with setting limits is crucial in maintaining healthy relationships and fairness.
OP’s brother Calvin has been taking advantage of their dad’s kindness by living rent-free and neglecting responsibilities. With their dad finally standing up and giving Calvin a move-out deadline, Calvin asked to move in with OP. OP agreed but set strict conditions: Calvin must pay half the mortgage as rent and OP won’t provide childcare for Calvin’s son, Aiden. Scroll down to read the full story.
1. OP is being called “cold and selfish” for not giving her brother a rent discount and refusing to babysit, rather than showing him more kindness.
2. OP (27F) explains that Calvin’s (29M) son Aiden (3M) usually spends time with his mom, Lillie (31F), but only every other weekend during summer.
3. Due to quarantine, OP’s dad let Calvin move in rent-free, but Calvin took advantage, partied, neglected chores, and lied about needing childcare for Aiden.
4. OP’s dad finally stood up to Calvin, giving him four months to find childcare or arrange custody, tired of being used as free daycare.
5. With two weeks until the move-out deadline, Calvin, realizing Dad’s serious, asked OP to let him move in due to the expensive housing market.
6. OP told Calvin he must pay rent on time and that OP won’t provide childcare. If Calvin abandons Aiden, OP will contact CPS.
7. Calvin begged OP for a rent discount, saying it’s too high and he’d need a part-time job. Calvin and his friends were unkind to some people.
8. Calvin is worried about being recognized and judged for peaking in high school. OP told him to put aside his pride, pay fair rent, and not exploit them.
9. Others say OP is being cold and selfish toward Calvin. OP responded by offering others the chance to help with housing and childcare if they’re so concerned.
Calvin complained the rent was too high, fearing he’d need a retail job and could be recognized from high school. OP told him to grow up and refused to back down. Some family members criticized OP, but OP stood firm, suggesting they help Calvin instead. You’re not his safety net, and you have every right to set clear terms for him living with you. NTA for putting your foot down.
Now that you have read the story, it’s time for you to see what Redditors had to say about the story. Don’t forget to share your own opinion at the end of this article.
10. You’re not obligated to enable your brother’s irresponsibility. NTA. He needs to learn how to stand on his own two feet.
11. Setting boundaries is crucial, especially with family.
12. NTA for standing your ground and refusing to let your brother take advantage of your generosity.
13. NTA for standing your ground and refusing to let your brother take advantage of your generosity.
14. NTA. Calvin needs to grow up and take responsibility for his life and his child. It’s time for him to step up and be an adult.
15. You’re offering a fair deal; it’s up to him to accept it or not. You’re not responsible for his financial struggles.
16. You’re protecting your own well-being and maintaining your boundaries.
17. NTA for expecting your brother to respect that.
18. Your brother can’t expect to freeload forever. It’s time he starts contributing and facing the consequences of his actions.
19. Calvin needs to face reality. NTA for expecting him to pay rent and not babysit for him.
20. He needs to understand that living with you comes with responsibilities.
You are not wrong for setting firm boundaries with your brother. It’s important for Calvin to take responsibility for his actions and learn to manage his life and parenting duties independently. By standing your ground, you’re helping him grow up and ensuring that your own needs and boundaries are respected.
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